Saddam Hussein Jokes

Okay, firstly, dont give me credit for these jokes because I just found them on some site, and thought Id copy and paste them over here so you lot can see them, well here they are:

Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman
"Saddam Husseins brother-in-law has been arrested by coalition forces. Thats good news. They acted on a tip from Saddam Hussein. ... Saddams three ex-wives have left the country, his brother-in-law has been arrested, boy we are really making his life a living hell arent we?" David Letterman
"The military said well be able to confirm Saddam is dead with DNA testing. Apparently we have an sample of his DNA. So Monica Lewinsky is working for the CIA?" Jay Leno

"We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and the bad news is Iraq is ours." David Letterman
"There are reports that Saddam has been spotted in central Baghdad. Parts of him were also spotted in northern Baghdad, eastern Baghdad and western Baghdad." Jay Leno
"It does not look good for Saddam Hussein and his sons. Yesterday we bombed the restaurant where they were eating and today I went on the Internet and they were selling pieces of Uday and Qusay on eBay." Jay Leno
"The big debate right now is if Saddam is alive or dead. Hes dead, then hes alive, then dead, then alive. Its just confusing. Today they showed videotape, and Saddam was speaking at his own funeral." David Letterman
"No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him on TV saying that its live. You know, its like the same thing we do with #*@! Cheney." David Letterman
"We now have all of Saddams palaces and residences he has no place to live. If Saddam thinks Bush was hard on him before, wait until he sees how Republicans treat the homeless." Jay Leno
"There are now reports that Saddam Hussein was injured in the initial U.S. bombing and hes now receiving medical care in an underground bunker. In fact, he asked his doctors if he was going to live and they told him, "Oh yeah, absolutely, youll live until the Americans get here ... then youre screwed." Jay Leno
"Today a cruise missile blew up another part of Saddam Husseins presidential palace. Think about this, hes got yachts, hes got palaces, hes got luxury guards. No wonder why hes surrounded by the elite Republican Guard. Hes a Republican." Jay Leno
"New rumors that Saddam Hussein is planning to flee to a castle in Libya with 10 billion dollars. Now President Bush doesnt know whether to nuke him or give him a tax cut." Craig Kilborn
"Saddam Hussein in his interview with Dan Rather said he would rather die than leave his country in exile. Finally, something we can agree on, hed rather die and wed rather kill him." Jay Leno
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, education anything thats needed. Isnt that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda and its for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out." Jay Leno
"Saddam Hussein has told his people that U.S. troops will commit suicide when they get to the gates of Baghdad. Thats when you know you have a bad army, when your only hope for victory is that the enemys troops kill themselves." Jay Leno
"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since English is a second language to both of them." Jay Leno
"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know Im thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag." David Letterman
"President Bushs approval rating has dropped another five points just in the last week. Its now down to 58 percent. Im not sure who should be more worried, Bush or Saddam Hussein." Jay Leno
"U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan says he can think of no reason to attack Iraq right now. I can think of five off the top of my head: Shell, Exxon, Mobil, Texaco and BP." Jay Leno
"President Bush said this Iraq situation looks like the rerun of a bad movie. Well sure, theres a Bush in the White House, the economys going to hell, were going to war over oil. Ive seen this movie, havent I?" Jay Leno
"In California, 50 women protested the impending war with Iraq by lying on the ground naked and spelling out the word peace. Right idea, wrong president." Jay Leno
"As we head to war with Iraq, President Bush wants to make one thing clear: This war is not about oil, its about gasoline." Jay Leno
"U.N. weapons inspectors found empty chemical warheads in Iraq. So, the question everyone is asking now is how did Sean Penn miss this?" Jay Leno
"According to military analysts, an invasion of Iraq by U.S. forces could cost between $20 and $50 billion. The Pentagon announced that it would offset those costs by referring to it as the Verizon Wireless/Pizza Hut War Against Iraq." Tina Fey, Saturday Night Lives "Weekend Update"
"Saddam Hussein has agreed to let UN weapons inspectors in Iraq. But he also said under no circumstances will Geraldo be let back in the country." Conan OBrien
"They are trying to get that crazy guy Saddam Hussein into exile. So far, the only offer he has is two weeks on Sean Penns couch." David Letterman
"The latest rumor is the United States is working behind the scenes to try to find a safe haven for Saddam Hussein. See if he agrees to step down and leave Iraq, we will relocate him. What a nightmare, where are you going to send a guy who thinks America is a nest of greedy imperialists intent on bleeding the third world of all their resources? I mean, besides Berkeley?" Jay Leno
"Some would argue that the president himself benefited from a form of affirmative action because as a C student, he only got into Yale because his father was a wealthy alumnus. But the White House counters that Saddam is a menace and must be stopped." Jon Stewart
"The bill gives the president the power to wage war on Iraq or, as President Bush calls it, "Operation Re-election." Jay Leno, on the vote in Congress to authorize war against Iraq
"President Bush gave his speech outlining the case against Iraq, and the Fox network was the only major network to televise the presidents address. Not surprisingly, Fox insisted on calling the speech When Presidents Attack." Conan OBrien
"Its like theyre the #*@! of evil." Jon Stewart, commenting on President Bushs de5cription of Iraq as a country that "gathers the most serious dangers of our age in one place"
"More and more information coming out on Saddam Hussein. We now know that he has, like, 24 presidential palaces. Each one of these palaces of Saddams has a dolphin pool and an amusement park. Well, if you didnt think this guy was creepy before now hes starting to sound like Michael Jackson." David Letterman
"President Bush is asking Congress for permission to wage war on Iraq. Some members of Congress are reluctant to go along with the plan so far. All Bush needs to do is remind these guys that, in Iraq, an adulterer gets stoned to death." Jay Leno
"What was left unclear...is what will happen after Saddam is gone? Democracy seems unlikely, so the hope is that Saddam will be replaced by a more pliable leader, someone we can work with to keep the country under control, maintain regional balance of power. Someone sympathetic, secular, someone like, oh...1982 Saddam." Jon Stewart
"More coming out about Saddam Hussein. We now know he takes Viagra and he has as many as six mistresses. No wonder Congress is reluctant to take action against this guy hes one of their own." Jay Leno
"Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. Thats bad news they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel." David Letterman
"Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that, President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio." Jay Leno
"President Bush said its now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished." Jay Leno
"Saddam Hussein has invited members from the U.S. Congress to visit Iraq. Man how stupid is Hussein? If you think Bush had incentive to bomb Iraq before, imagine if Congress was over there." Jay Leno
"The Bush administration said today there is a lot of support for us to attack Iraq. Exxon, Mobil, Texaco, Chevron, theyre all lining up." Jay Leno
"The Canadian government continues to say they will not help us if we go to war with Iraq. However, the prime minister of Canada said hed like to help, but hes pretty sure that last time he checked, Canada had no army." Conan OBrien
"Germany is now saying that they wont go along with an invasion of Iraq. However, they did say they would go along if the invasion included Poland, France and Belgium." Jay Leno
"A lot of controversy over this possible invasion of Iraq. In fact, Nelson Mandela was so upset, he called Bushs dad. How embarrassing, when world leaders start calling your father." Jay Leno
"Bush said he wants a change so that the people of Iraq will be allowed to choose their own leaders. Good luck, we cant even get the people of Florida to choose their own leaders." Jay Leno
"I never give my opinion on political matters, but before we bomb Iraq, lets wait two weeks until Geraldo is over there." Craig Kilborn
"The Bush administration has apparently approved a plan to oust Saddam Hussein. I think thats President Bushs Fathers Day gift to his Dad." Jay Leno
"Saddam Hussein has raised the amount going to suicide bombers from $10 thousand dollars to $25 thousand. Whats next, a health care plan?" Jay Leno
"The U.S. and several of our allies have been trying to secretly to convince Saddam Hussein to step down from power and go into exile forever. Its called Operation Al Gore." Jay Leno
"The New York Times is reporting that the Bush administration has a post-war plan to turn Iraq into a democracy. If the plan works it might be tried in Florida." Conan OBrien
"Congratulations to Saddam Hussein on being elected to another seven-year term. It was very close. He received 99 percent of the vote, and one percent of the vote went for last-minute candidate Frank Lautenberg." David Letterman
"Yesterday, Saddam Hussein got 100 percent of the vote. Well, thats according to Saddams campaign manager, Jeb Hussein." Jay Leno
"Heres something dreadful I heard about. You know these suicide bombers. Turns out Saddam Hussein is paying these people. Hes paying people money to blow themselves up. Isnt that nuts? Isnt that just bizarre? More bizarre than that, recently he increased their salary. The increase is $10,000 to $25,000 for a suicide bombing. Coincidentally, thats the same deal I signed up for with CBS." David Letterman
"Thanks for coming out on such a hot day. I was sweating like Saddam Hussein watching Bushs poll numbers drop." Jay Leno
"President Bush gave his speech outlining the case against Iraq, and the Fox network was the only major network to televise the presidents address. Not surprisingly, Fox insisted on calling the speech When Presidents Attack." Conan OBrien
"Its like theyre the #*@! of evil." Jon Stewart, commenting on President Bushs de5cription of Iraq as a country that "gathers the most serious dangers of our age in one place"
"Scores of Iraqi exiles met in London to discuss ways to overthrow Saddam Hussein in a grand gathering dubbed the Iraqi Military Alliance Meeting. Of course, these people are no longer Iraqi, they have no military, and there is no alliance. But they did have a meeting." Jon Stewart
"What was left unclear...is what will happen after Saddam is gone? Democracy seems unlikely, so the hope is that Saddam will be replaced by a more pliable leader, someone we can work with to keep the country under control, maintain regional balance of power. Someone sympathetic, secular, someone like, oh...1982 Saddam." Jon Stewart
"In a bizarre move, Saddam Hussein has released all prisoners being held in Iraqi jails. Isnt that amazing? Iraq has prisoners that are still alive." Jay Leno
"Isnt it funny how people say theyll never grow up to be their parents, then one day they look in the mirror and theyre moving aircraft carriers into the Gulf region?" from The Onions "question man" about President Bushs plans for war with Iraq
"The New York Times is reporting that President Bush now has a formal plan for attacking Iraq. They say the key to this plan is timing. As soon as Bushs popularity falls below 52 percent, then it goes into effect." Jay Leno, July 2002
~Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman

KICK SOMEONE YOU WANT OUT OF COLLEGE!

THIS IS A HISTORICAL (REVENGE PRANK!) I JUST MADE UP MY OWN HISTORICAL PRANK ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS STAY AT SOMEONES HOUSE FOR 1 NIGHT WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR SPRINGBREAK FROM COLLEGE.OR IF THEY THROW A PARTY AFTER SPRING BREAK EVEN BETTER!,ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS GATE CRASH THEIR PARTY BUT BRING IN A HARDCORE PORN TAPE.WHEN THEY ALL ASLEEP PLAY THE PORN TAPE IN THE PERSONS BEDROOM OR LIVING WHO U WANNA BOOT OUT OF COLLEGE.WHILE ITS PLAYING PHONE UP THE PRINCIPALS OFFICE! (MAKE SURE HE HAS A FUCKING ANSWERING MACHINE LOL!) MAKE SURE THE PORNOS STILL RUNNING THEN AFTER ITS RUNNING THE ANSWERING MACHINE WILL RECORD THE PORNSTARS FUCKING AWAY LIKE PIGS LOL,THEN WHOEVER THE VICTUM IS WHEN HE GOES BACK TO COLLEGE AFTER SPRINGBREAK THE PRINCIPAL WOULD HAVE ALREADY TRACED THE NUMBER,LOOKED UP ON FILE WHAT PUPIL IT WAS AND THEY ARE FUCKED! ENJOY LOL

Home Made Fish Tank Vacuum

Is a Happy Tank.

Cleaning the bottom of your fish tank or bowl is very important. I used to have a vacuum for my larger tank. It worked great, but it\\’s long gone. I had it back in the nineties. However, I do remember how it worked. I now have baby fish in a 2 gallon tank. A vacuum that large would probably be very difficult to use in a tank that small and be a risk to the li\\’l fry. So, I decided to make my own smaller, gentler vac.

Looked Similar to This:

It functions by using the rising bubbles from an air pump to lift water through a filter bag.

More Like Some Sort of Penis Pump...

But pay no mind to that. o.O It works perfectly for my needs. If you have baby fish or a small tank that you need to clean, you can make your own vacuum and save some money while keeping the scale of the vacuum in proportion to your tank.

Anyway, on with the show.

• Knife (or appropriate drill and bit)
  
• Skewer (or pencil)
  
• Scissors
  
• Thin-walled plastic tube (I used a candy container)
  
• Air pump
  
• Air valve
  
• 3/8 vinyl tubing
  
• Fish tank air line
  
• Filter floss or cartridge element

Start by cleaning out and carving two holes in the bottom of the candy container:


When done, they should look like this:


Now thread your air line through the larger hole, like so:


Next, slip the 3/8 tubing over the air line, and into the candy container:




Pull the air line back so it\\’s recessed about an inch within the 3/4 tube:


Then pull it all into the container:


Time to cut some filter. Cut enough to completely block the container\\’s opening when wrapped around the 3/8 tube...


...wrap it and stuff it in with the skewer/pencil:


This is what it should look like so far:


Cut a couple inches off the other end of the air line:


Use that short piece to connect the valve to the pump, and connect the vacuum to the valve like this:




That\\’s it! To use it, simply plug in the pump and prod the gravel with the piece of 3/8 tube. The crap will get sucked up with the bubbles into the chamber above the filter floss and become trapped. The water will flow through the floss, back into the tank. The air will escape through the small vent in the top.

Hello everyone, this blog will explain how to hack Pokémon GBA games. In order to play Pokémon games on your computer you need a ROM and an emulator. I can’t post a link for ROMs because of the warez rule but if you Google ROMs you’ll be able to find one. For the emulator I use Visual Boy. Link:http://prdownloads.sourceforge.net/vba/VisualBoyAdvance-1.7.2.zip
On to the hacking. The first program used is A-starter. Link:http://wahackpokemon.com/descarga/herramientas/A-Starter.zip This allows you to change the starter Pokémon. After downloading start it up and click open then select the rom. It should look like this.

The top three are the Pokémon you start with. You can click the arrow and select the Pokémon you want. Under that you can pick the level and give it an item. I strongly recommend putting a master ball. At the bottom you can pick your opponents starter Pokémon. Once you select everything hit file>save. Next new game you play should have those Pokémon as the starters.
Next is Advance Map, link:http://amneu.no-ip.info/
Open the program and like last time click file then open and select the ROM. Once it loads click "from ini". Click a town and you should get something like this.

You can select different objects and place them where you like just check under the permissions tab. Under permission all land will have letters and numbers. Objects can only be placed on "C." If you want to get Pokémon select the wild grass and put it where you want. Then select the "wild Pokémon" tab. select new data and then you will have this.

By encounter ratio, type 24. Then proceed and pick the Pokémon you want, and their levels on the left. Once your done click the save button under the tab. Then click file save, and those Pokémon are now in that grass. Advanced Map can be used for many other purposes but that is the main one.
Another tool is YAPE.Link:http://wahackpokemon.com/descarga/herramientas/yape09.zip
Run the program and click file open and find your ROM. Select a Pokémon and you can start editing it. The first tab:

It starts off with base stats. These are the Pokémon’s hp, attack, ect. You can put each one up to 200. Next useful option is items. Select whatever item you want it to hold from the list. Note: it can only hold 1 item.
The next important tab is moves.

First off is TM compatibility. Select all and the Pokémon will be able to learn any TM. Learned moves are next. Select any 4 moves you want by picking it off the list and clicking add. Last is HM compatibility. Select all so the Pokémon selected can learn any HM. Before switching to another Pokémon hit file and save.
The last program I’ll show you is attack editor pro. Link:http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0FR0U04G (had to upload it)
Start the program and load the ROM.

Select a move you want to edit. Than you can change the pp and power to 99. This makes the move stronger and allows you to do it 99 times before you have to rest. Change the efficiency and accuracy to 100 to make it a 1 hit kill and never miss. Click save rom when you’re done.
That’s it for now. If wanted I can make another egg on some other Pokémon programs. If anyone needs a link to any ROMs or Programs just PM me.

Using Google to find MP3’s

Using Google to find MP3’s
Introduction
This may well have been posted before and may be old, but the reason I am posting this is because some people may not know about this, or may not have seen a complete guide to it.

How To
You will need to head to Google first. Then you will need to insert this into search bar

Quote:

"50 cent" intitle:index.of mp3 -html -htm -php -asp -txt -pls

I will be using 50 Cent in this tutorial, No I don’t listen to him. It’s just because most eBadboyz will listen to it, so there is a lot of results. Where it says 50 Cent, you will replace this for whatever song you are looking for. Then just hit enter to see the results.

What’s it do?
It uses commands which filter out certain file formats. You could search for all websites containing a page saying Newbie, it basicly just filters out things using different commands. I recommend reading this to learn about more Google commands.

How to save the songs
You’re going need to click one of the results to do this, the next picture should help you if you don’t know what I mean:

The red circle is where you click, you should now see some results similar to this:


Then you’ll need to right click on the one you want and then click Save Target As:


You should now choose where you want to save it, then you can play it through WMP or burn it to a CD pr whatever.

DIY - Firefox extremely fast in less than 5 min

1: Access the settings list

1. Go to the address bar and type about:config then press enter.
2. You will see a window with many settings, and a "filter" (a.k.a. search) bar at the top.



2: Change current settings

1. Search for these settings in the filter bar, and
2. Double click to modify. the true/false settings can also be changed with a double-click.
(setting - value)

network.http.max-connections – 48
network.http.max-connections-per-server – 16
network.http.max-persistent-connections-per-proxy – 8
network.http.max-persistent-connections-per-server – 4
network.http.pipelining – true
network.http.pipelining.maxrequests – 100
NOTE: the above command, (pipelining), is the act of sending multiple requests for information to a server. some servers might not like 100 requests at once, so if this slows down performance on some sites (which is uncommon), change this value to 10, or back to the default 2.
network.http.proxy.pipelining – true
network.http.request.timeout – 300



3: Add new settings

1. Right-click somewhere in the window and highlight new, then select integer.

content.notify.interval - 500000
(thats five hundred thousand, not fifty thousand)

2. Create another new integer.

browser.cache.memory.capacity - 65536
NOTE: only use if you have lots of RAM (2+ GB). value can be adjusted if needed.



Final Step

Restart firefox and enjoy your ridiculously fucking fast new browser

-munro-

Windows Vista On PSP no downgrad needed

Ok this isn’t the real Windows Vista, its just a "portal" it looks like vista and has heaps of cool features and sweet games, all you need is a psp with flash enabled.

WHAT-YOU-NEEEEED--- ----------------------- 1 PSP 1 Memory card, with at least 22m free 1 usb cable and most importantly you need to downlaod the files. http://dl1u.savefile.com/52aa2343454668ac47024701692e43b9/PSPWXP_ZIP.zip

Ok once that has download you need to unzip it, right click and click extract.

coppy the hole folder into your psp memory card.

now disconnect your psp and go to the Internet browser.

and tipe it file://pspwxp/index.htm

and it should start to load windows vista psp heres a video of me using it. looks prety cool huh http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=z--Lu6SqHSw

Good thing about it is you don’t need to downgrade your psp or have any costume firmware on it.

also its pretty cool because it comes with a bunch of cool applications, heaps of games, a cool Internet browser, and an anti virus :) enjoy